Seri Mizani

Of sustainability, religion, and introspection

Seri is a name that has been floating around in the social media space for the past 4 years, more so if one is active in the independent Kuala Lumpur scene. Images and carousels of a Bohemian-clad personality are the visuals most associated with Seri, an image that she has carefully curated over the years during her very own process of finding her calling. 

Flowy, environmental, with a touch of gadis Melayu terakhir vibes, there is a certain aura that permeates from the phone screen and commands your attention as you feed your interest into the snippets of her life that she posts on her Instagram page. 

Peer a little deeper, and her work as an environmentalist unveils itself. However, she doesn’t want to be known as such. Rather she insists that she’s just a person who wants to be good, do good, and spread good. A noble pursuit in an otherwise towering background of consumerism and capitalism which paints the fabric of Kuala Lumpur. 

In rather ironic fashion then, Celestine and I met her in the monolith of abject consumption and overpriced foodstuff: Kenny Hills Bakers at Four Seasons Kuala Lumpur. So then begins our deep dive into the enigmatic personality that is Seri Mizani.

*This interview is condensed and rewritten to be engaging in a story format, parts of which may be edited for the reader’s understanding.

Co-written by Nabil and Celestine. Pictures captured by Nabil and Celestine.

Background

“So what have you been doing recently?” quipped Nabil.

“I just started a social enterprise,” said Seri. “I have an environmental platform called Seribume, but when I did that a year ago since I dropped out of school in 2019, I remember the first thing that I asked myself was ‘Okay, I need experience on-ground. So what shall I do?”

“So I went to Eventbrite just for fun, but then I saw an offer to be part of World Cleanup Day as a leader. But you have to go for a two-day course so you can be certified.”

“So I went there, registered myself. They said that ‘Oh, you can bring two or more people to follow you,’ so I invited four of my friends to join.”

Excitedly, Seri adds, “I did a clean up around KL, around Bukit Bintang to be exact. During the audit, we got like 16,000 cigarette butts, which was a lot for just a two-hour, three-hour session! So it was during that time that I knew that oh my god, this is something that I’m into now?”

“Who was the driving force behind your ventures?” asked Nabil.

“I reflect back during the time that I was growing up also. My mum, she was an environmentalist before she retired. She was a researcher on air pollution. So yeah, I grew up in a household where I was always being told to recycle and reuse the things I already have.”

“And I look back at it, and macam like my mum is a clean freak. It used to stress me out a lot back then, but now I’m like, mum, I understand you, hahaha.”

“I mean for sure since there is a lot of trash everywhere,” Nabil echoes.

Seri chimes in, “Yaaa, it’s quite frustrating la!”

“Was your mum in the science field?”

“Yup, she was working at Agensi Nuklear Malaysia.”

“The one in Bangi right?”

The Malaysian Nuclear Agency building. Credit: Agensi Nuklear Malaysia

 “Yaaaa, I’m based in Bangi! I’m not a city girl hahaha. I’m from the hood,” she says amidst the laughter.

“But growing up there, it made me appreciate the slow living, like a balanced life.”

“You know recently, I came back from Japan having stayed in Tokyo for like a week, and as I stayed there I was like wow, this really isn’t for me.”

“It is a good balance though, growing up there and being near to Kuala Lumpur, it kinda makes me appreciate more on the life that I’m living. Even in what I do, I don’t believe in going against a brand because I came from the fashion scene. I don’t believe in going against, I believe in working together or working with them to make things better. Cos I do see myself being a consultant if I ever want to continue studying.”

“Consultant in what sense, like sustainability consultant for brands or just being an independent one?”

Immediately jumping on the question, Seri said, “Either a sustainable business consultant or an independent consultant that is multifaceted in advocating for the Earth. Before I dropped out of school I wasn’t really fulfilled studying fashion. I only took it up because I’ve always love dressing up and it gives me comfort whenever I feel like an outcast.”

“Because of how I dressed growing up, it made me question where I sit in society. my looks weren’t extravagant, just different than what is accepted in the area I grew up in. they’re not as open-minded as you imagine it to be, because of that, making friends or maintaining friendships weren’t easy. so that confined me.”

Celestine then jumped in, “What do you think influenced your early days dressing up as you were experimenting?”

“I think it’s because the gap between two of my sisters is like 10 years apart, so they have a bunch of interesting clothes you know?” said Seri.

“I was always secretly stealing their clothes, and getting scolded because of it as a kid, because I would take their clothes and cut them hahaha. Like DIYing it on my own. Those were some of the early ones. “

“You were pioneering upcycling even then!” quipped Celestine.

There was visible excitement in Seri’s eyes. “Yea yea yea, that was before I found thrifting you know? Like I would hide it from them but then I would post on my Facebook, like ON my Facebook and they were like THIS IS MY CLOTHES WHY DID YOU CUT IT hahaha.”

“But that was one of my first few relationships with clothes. Because I was always feeling like an outcast, going home, and dress up during high school, because I loved going out after school, cos my friends were all in KL.”

“I thought fashion was good for me because I loved dressing up. I was NOT prepared for the technical stuff.”

“I would take the train, go to the city, and get to know people. That’s how I have my friends today, and also because I’m a very adventurous person as well.”

“When I decided to study, I thought fashion was good for me because I love dressing up.” 

“But it’s only because I love dressing up. I was NOT prepared for the technical stuff.”

“How was the fashion course for you?” Celestine followed up.

There was a smidge of pensiveness before she answered.

“I enjoyed the first few semesters, but you know when something is not fulfilled inside you, it doesn’t sit right. So imagine that my grades are super good and my CGPA was okay okay. Then the next four semesters I kept repeating. I recalled how demotivated I was, so I took the decision to defer.”

“I thought that might do me some good and was expecting that when I came back, I’ll be better but it’s still the same, and I knew that “Wow, this is not working out you know?”

“And that was when I spoke to myself and said okay, I need a plan. I knew that I wanted to drop out of school, but I didn’t have a plan right, so that’s when I straightened myself up and tried to figure it out.”

Seri then added, “I think that was also the time that my spiritual self was kind of enhanced, because I believe that I wouldn’t be here if it was a higher power? You know, I wouldn’t be as aware as I am if it wasn’t for my awareness within first.”

“You know, that’s why I believe that you cannot just jump the wagon.”

The Tipping Point

“I pray so much, sometimes I cry, asking for answers and guidance, and I remembered when I knew I wanted to drop out of school, one day my friends contacted me and asked like ‘do you want to come to this studio space? I wanna get this space as my music studio, but there’s one big problem.’”

“And I’m like what is it?”

Credit: Pictures taken from Seri’s Instagram

“Then he said that there’s a pile of clothes from the previous owner that they just left it like that. Macam gudangkan, they just left it. I think you saw the photos, I don’t know  if you saw the photos, but like you can literally climb that pile of clothes and you can reach the ceiling like that’s crazy.”

Nabil then asked,”Where was this place located?”

“In PJ, around Taman Jaya area.” Seri replied. “Where was I? Hahahaha.” 

Immediately connecting back to the question, Celestine continued, “we were at the clothes ahahaha.”

“Ah right the clothes!” said Seri. “So a bit of backstory in the timeline. When I was studying fashion, that’s when my styling kind of got enhanced because even though it's not that great, but I was surrounded with like other cultures, other people from different sides of the globe and that allowed me to see how they dress, so it gave me the confidence  to dress myself, and that’s when I discovered thrifting as well and it felt like heaven at the time because it was so cheap, so convenient, I can buy as much as I want. So yeah, I became a really bad shopaholic.”

Realising that she may have digressed too far, Seri continued to the initial story, “Continue back to story, my friends said that about the studio so I was like okay. Excited, but with zero expectations. I remember the first time I masuk je (entered) the space, I think that was the first time I experienced some anxiety, because it was so overwhelming.”

Seri realises there was a bit of context left missing. “Okay backstory again, a week before, I just got curious. I was still studying right, still going for classes and whatnot, so I was curious about how many years do clothes take to decompose, and that’s the first thing to know about sustainable fashion, that it takes more than a 100 years to decompose.”

“That’s when my jaw kind of dropped. I was like damn.”

“Just with that one piece of information, just because you’re curious and you want to educate yourself, and you feel so overwhelmed with just that one thing. I remember feeling that very clearly, especially every time that I reflected back and went through the article, and also my mum.”

Reminiscing an old memory, Seri then continued, “Because growing up, I took my mum very lightly lah; she always used to complain “kenapa ada banyak sangat sampah kat luar ni?” Growing up I was like chill lah mum, you know?”

“It’s because we were not educated, even in school. It wasn’t emphasised enough or maybe it isn’t as fun as it should be.”

“It’s because we were not educated, even in school. It wasn’t emphasised enough or maybe it isn’t as fun as it should be.”

“Because if I remember back in school, like we all took Pendidikan Sivik and whatnot, but how to take care of a tree for example right? It’s not emphasised in a fun way where kids or students would want to love and care for it.”

Celestine probed further, “Because they don’t see the effects right?”

Agreeing profusely, Seri replies, “Yeeeee, I see a lot. I was lucky, because I got some sort of awareness as I grew up, but again it was not emphasised enough at home.”

“You just say for the sake of saying, but what is the story? Why should I do it? What are the long term effects? Those kinds of things. So when I saw the studio situation, I knew that going back didn’t feel right.”

“I felt that if I hadn't gone back to the article, I would not have felt what I felt. So when I came back, I knew I could not act like I did not see that. So that’s when I used social media, cause I had a good amount of audience who just loved seeing whatever random things I shared, be it my clothes, my books ke apa ke (and whatnot).”

“From there, I was slowly posting about random things that I learned or sharing an article for like a month or two I think. Yeah, until I got the guts to tell my mum [that I want to quit school]. She’s still a little pissed. Hahahaha. But it got me to where I am today.”

“So would you say that your experience at the studio tu was a tipping point?” Nabil said.

“Yes.” said Seri. “ I feel like that is such a miracle because I was really struggling at school. I was not happy, you know. Mentally, I was just trying to pull through. Dahla dari kecik sampai besar macam (From when I was small until now) struggling on where do I sit in society you know?”

“And I’m the kind of person where if I’m not happy, I start to distance myself from the people around me. And I was going through that mentally. It’s not everyone’s fault around me, because it is what it is, but that was my tipping point.”

“You mentioned that in your formative years, coming into high school and college, you felt like you were an outcast,” Nabil implored further.

“I felt like an outcast because of the way I dress, because I live in a very conservative area. Like Bangi is very Malay,” said Seri.

Compounding further, Nabil said, “Bangi is like Shah Alam 2.0 kot.”

“WEH ye dohh, sekarang dah Shah Alam 2.0 even moreeee. Lagi-lagi bila dekat nak raya kan, everyone just keeps coming to Bangi,” said Seri.

Celestine then added, ”The whole kampung comes sekali kan.”

The Formation of Seri

“Exactly!!! But y’all did not hear that,” Seri said laughing.

“But yea, during high school, I was a bit different because I was more open to dress up. My family is more open, you know? So because of that, I got bullied a lot. I got bullied a lot by girls, surprisingly.’

“Not surprising to be honest,” Celestine says as she introspects

“Not surprising eh?” Seri said, surprised but interested at Celestine’s statement.

“Clothes became my best friend in high school.”

“Clothes became my best friend in high school. Because I don’t have friends, I would go out to KL because MY friends were there, and not in Bangi.”

“The friends that you meet ni are internet friends?” said Nabil, exploring further.

“Yes, but they’re also in the fashion scene.” said Seri. “ One of my first friends, I don’t know if you know Deanna Deanni? I actually knew them from Japan when I was in high school. So they were my first internet friends until now. I met them when I was 15, but they were one of the reasons that made me want to dress up also lah. I’m also inspired to just dress myself.”

Celestine then added, “When you used to dress different kan, and it made you feel like an outcast, what made you keep dressing the way you did, instead of dressing to fit in?”

“I think it’s cause I didn’t want to fit in,” Seri said. “I mean if you’re comfortable, that’s fine, not judging or whatever, but I feel like as a human being, we are so more interesting when you just be you, instead of what society wants you to be.”

“So it’s like don’t conform to the status quo?” asked Nabil.

Excitedly, Seri said, “Yeaa! And as I grew up, I kind of reflect how I was. When I was in high school, I felt a bit insecure. But as I grew up, I’m like wow. That makes me special actually!”

“Like that’s my superpower you know?”

“That’s why I embrace more, because at the end of the day, you only got yourself, so live how you want to be. That’s my value in life.”

“At that time, your high school was your period because you would practically say ostracise from the group and things like that and I'm pretty sure there were parts of sadness, depression and things like that maybe because there weren't any friends close to you in the Bangi area, but how did you stick it through and retain your self-image throughout the journey until you are comfortable with friends you made around KL?” asked Nabil.

“I don’t know actually.” said Seri. “That’s such a grey part of my life. I mean to be really honest, I was such a depressing person. Like I wouldn’t be the kind of person today if it wasn’t for the struggle that I went through during high school.”

“People will always ask me, ‘ Why are you so optimistic?’ ‘Why do you think the way you think?’ I always go back for some reason, to my darker days, which was my time in high school. “

“I think one of the reasons why I don’t want to conform to one tribe is because I’m so used to being alone. I think that was also the time where I got to experiment with my clothes as well.”

Adding on her statement, Seri said, “By being alone here as in like my family travels a lot, so it’s always just me at home with my helper, my ‘kakak’ only you know? So I got that time and space to just be myself. Yeah, I think that is my safe space coming back from school and being at home or just going out.”

“I only got to be okay when I got out of high school actually and I went to college and met new people.”

“It must’ve been so shit for you.” Nabil quips.

“It’s so shit doh,” agreed Seri. “I was so depressed. I’m not gonna hide, I did cut and all, but because I didn’t have internet…….” Seri trailed off before continuing her thought.”

“Talking about the internet, it’s even scarier now. So imagine back in those days, at least things were a bit hidden.”

“I remember I stopped doing it, I stopped cutting myself when I was 15, and the reason why I stopped is because I saw someone saw me doing it. Like they saw my wrists, and they’ll think that it’s okay. And I felt bad. I macam ‘Wey this is not right. I don’t wanna be influencing someone going through something similar and doing this, because I know how it feels.”

“It’s hard, you know?”

We all murmured in mutual agreement. “You have a lot of self-awareness on these things,” Celestine adds.

“Yea, that’s what my therapist says also,” Seri says before bursting into laughter. “I mean I only went once, and then also because my friend recommended it.”

“Random story, because my friend recommended, and then I met my friend again, and then my friend was like ‘you know I met Sharan Kaur, who is our therapist, and he said to her, oh how was my friend tadi? And she said, don’t worry, she’s okay.”

“I mean that’s great, because a lot of people don’t get out of it that fast, partly because of the self-awareness that you have also that made you realise that this isn’t who I want to be,” said Nabil.

“Yeap.” Seri said in agreement. “Again it’s because I spent so much time alone with my mind, I made peace with it you know? Alhamdulillah lah, and I always tell my friends jugak that I know it’s hard, but as long as you’re aware, it’s fine. Because I feel like some of these people are so lucky at this day, If you’re aware, enough, you'll realise really fast tau, because of the internet. It you’re really aware lah. Macam for me, it took some time because I’m doing it alone. It took years to accept myself and embrace myself.”

 “It took years to accept myself and embrace myself.”

“Would you say that in the process of understanding yourself, getting to terms and making peace with who you are, were you able to place yourself from a third-person perspective and look from the outside in that sense?,” asked Nabil.

“Yea, all the time actually. Like people call me very motherly.” Seri says as she reflects back on previous opinions of her.

“Ada lah vibes dia (The vibes are there for sure),” concurs Nabil.

“Eh really? Hahahaha. Because I’m a very spiritual person right, I’m really into numbers, like stars and whatnot. Then I found out that my lucky number, which was number 6. Like every number has its own leadership, and I found out that number 6, represents motherly leadership.”

“So people are just coming to me, telling me stories, I’m like okayyy hahaha. It’s nice though. I always try to be good as much as I can.”

“I don’t wanna be right. I just want to be a good person with good intentions…”

“I don’t wanna be right. I just want to be a good person with good intentions, you know? I might get criticised along the way, but as long as my intention is good, then let it be. I believe that that’s what God or the Higher Power taught us”

“So camtulah. I just wanna love whatever I receive from the Earth you know? I think because of the way I grew up, I’m very emotionally in touch with myself.”

“Like I get very sad when I see trees getting cut down. This recently just happened; I know a tree in my neighbourhood has been there a while, been there longer than I was born. I’ve always seen that tree, and you cut it down like it was nothing, and it just got cut down like it was last week. I’m so sad.”

“I’m like what for?”

“Even my friend who’s not really into sustainability, not really environmentally aware, but because she’s around me, even she was asking like what’s the point?”

“I can’t even point fingers because at the end of the day, it ties back to education.”

Seri with her mother. Credit: Picture taken from Seri’s Instagram

On Her Mom, Sisters’ Clothes, and Connecting With Her Roots

Nabil then continued, “I get it. I wanna talk a bit about your family.”

“You said that you're basically like throughout the years as you were growing up similar your mom has been sort of like a central figure lah, you know, becoming who you are today and also like after understanding and deepening the relationship in between the both of you, I think you guys also like on the same wavelength in terms of the outlook on environmentalism and also your fashion sense, but was there like any sort of like friction or feedback from your relatives or cousins?”

“Actually I’m not really close with my extended family,” Seri says. “I mean we see each other during Raya but they’re not vocal about it. They just see me on Instagram, but they don’t really talk about it. Which is like good lah. “

“Like you said also, the outlook with my mum and I is similar. And I grew up mostly with my mum because of the gap between my sisters jauh gila.”

“She was gravely worried when I chose to drop out of school. She was like are you sure? It’s not easy, you have to have a lot of willpower and whatnot. A lot of bantering basically. But you know, it was good banter.”

“Sounds like you’ve had a tumultuous experience,” Nabil says, contemplating.

“Yeah,” Seri says in agreement. “I think the hardest was 2019, but 2020 because of the lockdown, I bonded with her. I was at home even more, she was at home even more, and that was the kind of the time where I experimented more on my clothes. That’s where I embraced more on batik, kaftan, and kain pelikat because it was comfortable.”

“And going back to my roots, understanding my roots.”

Credit: Picture taken from Seri’s Instagram

Delving further, Nabil then asked, “So your propensity to use a lot of heavily patterned clothing, is it because like you said, you wanted to go back to your roots, or was it out of sheer comfort, or is there something about its design that’s attractive to you?”

“It’s a bit of everything. Going back to my roots, comfort, and also because I’m a very maximalist person, with a sense of the Bohemian. Especially when it comes to fashion, it’s kind of like a second skin to me.” 

“Like for me as a person, I sweat a lot, so I cannot have things that are stuck to my skin. If you go to my Instagram pun, you’ll barely see me in jeans; more kain and skirts. That was the main thing.”

“When it comes to fashion pun I dive more into practicality. Like I like to dance, so I make sure that everything is flowy, comfortable, so those are some of the things that I stand for.”

“You also accessorise a lot,” Nabil adds.

“Yesss, I accessorise a lot actually! Like if I feel it’s empty, accessories help so much to change the vibe of your look. If not then it’s just too plain. Like if I don’t have this or this, it’s nothing.”

“Yea yea, I get you.” Nabil says in agreement. “Tapi padahal I pakai dua ni je (shows rings to Seri).”

“Yea, yea! Maybe tambah one more chain ke baru nampak lawa!”

The whole conversation sidelines as she shared some tips on how to equip myself with the right accessories, but she landed on a very good point after that.

“Trust me, people don’t care. You know, at the end of the day, I was telling myself, these people who judge me or look at me up and down, they’re just perceiving me. At the end of the day, when they go back, they don’t even think about it anymore. That’s how I ingrain it in myself.

I like to dance. I don’t drink or whatever to get me to that state, I just like it. Then people will be like, apa benda dia ni, but I’m just like, “y’all are not gonna remember this anyway so fuck it.” 

“Mungkin fikir that you’re high kot (They might’ve thought you were high)”

“Yea!” agrees Seri. “Like is this girl high or what? Hahaha. But at the end of the day, you’re never gonna remember me pun. I think that’s like one of the things that kept me going. These people aren’t going to know or remember me you know? Only the right people know who I am, and that’s okay. That’s more than enough.”

“True true.” said Nabil. “For your accessories, I know you said that you stole your sister’s and mum’s clothes, but is there like a family heirloom that you always keep with you, or include in your accessorising?”

Seri then replied, “Actually banyak. Hahaha. Like my scarves, if you go on my Instagram, that’s all my mum’s. Yesterday also I went to a wedding, and I was wearing my mum’s shoes and clothes, which was there waay before I was born.”

“I’m 25, and they’re probably more than 25 years old. Like my mum’s shoes, they’re leather and the quality is amazing. I’m 25 this year, she got this when she’s 30 years old, so imagine that. Even this bag, so a lot of hand me downs. “

“Come to think of it, while lockdown was very difficult for me, it was also fun because I learned to sustain more. In a way that taught me that I cannot simply buy anything because I’m stuck at home, so it forced me to use whatever I have. That’s when I found things and experimented.”

“I always tell myself this about sustainability: if you want to be a part of it, then you need to remind yourself to be playful as well because as we grow older, we forget that we’re actually still a child inside.”

“I think that’s why as they get older, people tend to confine their inner child.”

“I think that’s why as they get older, people tend to confine their inner child.”

Digging deeper, Nabil asks, “Would you say that childlike feeling, or being a child at heart is central to what you do in terms of styling and your efforts in sustainability?”

“For sure,” said Seri. “I think if I didn’t have that, I wouldn’t have the mindset that I have today. I feel like being a child is so interesting because you don’t know what’s right or wrong. You just experiment, and make mistakes along the way.”

“It’s mostly like the wonder of curiosity,” Celestine compounds.

“Exactly! It’s just curiosity. In one of my talks actually, I emphasised a lot on curiosity and education, because I feel like it’s such an amazing thing. Just ONE click can change a lot of  perspectives in your mind. Cos I’m speaking from my own experiences, and I’m always mind blown when it happens to me.”

“Curiosity, very important.”

“Do you still have questions that float around in reflection, such as what would 5 year old Seri think of me now?,” Nabil enquired.

“Actually yeah. I would say that 5-year old Seri would expect that she will be here today. And I feel it because of my struggles. Struggles to find friends, struggle to fit in a group.”

“The bullies that I got in school were really bad, sampai menangis semua lah.”

“But now look where I am. I have a talk in 2 days, and these people are calling ME to do a talk, and my audience is going to be like 30 - 50 year olds. Funny how much things can change.”

From Advocate to Influencer

“What about that time when you were called up for Converse X?”

Seri flares with enthusiasm. “Mmmmmm! That’s also another interesting story. Isaac actually vouched for me, so I was like serious aaa. Hahahaha.”

“Okay, my belief is that whatever you do, you don’t expect anything to come back because you need to do the work. So when I got the gig at Converse, the people around me were like ‘oh, they’re giving you shoes but they’re not paying you.’”

“But in my head, I was thinking that I just started with them. Like I cannot ask for any money right now, you know? So I put the effort into it, recognise that it is an opportunity, and use it with intention, because Converse is such a big platform. EVEN though the sustainability aspect is a bit eh, it’s not about going against it, it’s about how you can utilise it to work for you and spread that message.”

“So if you went through my account and saw the previous photos, I took a lot of effort to take photos and tag them, so that there’s a tie between the brand, and also what I stand for.”

“So that’s when I got the offer, but let me tell you. It was so shit for me because that was my first time. I was part of a global team where we needed to make a project online. My team was all around the world in Santiago, Vietnam, Brisbane. So when I met them and got the offer to be a speaker, that was my first time speaking, because I kept telling them that I wanted to be a speaker.”

“When I dropped out of school, I kind of lost all of my social skills.”

“I was excited for sure, but I did not expect the anxiety. When I dropped out of school, I kind of lost all of my social skills. I stopped everything.”

“I stopped drinking, I stopped going out. Like even if I go out, I would want to go home early so I can build whatever I have today. So yeah. [The anxiety] was through the roof. I can’t recall how many of the Converse people advised me to try and breathe and be calm. I was really struggling.”

Nabil then asked, “This was before the speaking session?”

“Not even before the speaking session,” Seri clarified. “More like throughout the whole trip jugak hahaha. Cos I did not know how to mingle around people, cos before I really didn’t know how to talk to people. Nak make small talk ke, big talk ke, but I had to take it in stride. And I was lucky that I got to learn a lot. I mean it’s my first time, so I tried to see things in a different way. It’s good that I experienced that.”

“And honestly, I’m not associated with Converse anymore, because I feel like my time with them is enough. I wanted to move forward, so when they asked if I wanted to continue, I said no. Given that, I’m super grateful for them, because my platform definitely started majorly because of them. I wouldn;t be here if it wasn’t for Converse. They gave me that start, so I was super grateful for that.”

“[Converse] gave me that start, so I was super grateful for that.”

“During your time in Los Angeles when you had the opportunity to make conversations in terms of the outlook of environmentalism from the white man’s perspective and here, what do you think are some of the differences?” Asked Nabil.

“To be honest, my time in LA was a bit remote and didn’t get enough exposure so I can’t say much.” said Seri. “I can say from my job which I’ve been at for about 8 months, what my perspective is instead! Hahahahhaa. I really have a different outlook lah from that.”

“Positive or negative?” Nabil added.

“Negative I think. I think that that was my first time working on-ground working at the thing that I should be working with. So when I was there, my boss was a white man. Got a lot of shit lah, because you wanna talk to an older foreigner, compared to the younger generation, they have different outlooks. They’re more of like how to make money; it is important, but when we question, they’ll question back, like why are you questioning this? Which is frustrating.”

The Business Side of Things

“What about now? What’s currently on your hands?: asked Nabil.

“I just opened an SSM account, a social enterprise for Seribume, because I believe that with a NGO, it’s gonna be tougher.” Seri said. “Cos I still want to do my passion things, but if I don’t have money, it’s hard.”

“And even though I’m a content creator, doing creative activism, I don’t want to rely on sponsorships. I don’t want to rely on brands.”

“Yeah, because then, you’d have to be answerable to them,” Nabil said, agreeing with her statement.

“Yes, exactly. So I want to do my own thing. I’m working on a product right now…… should I tell you guys?”

“Yeah, I’ll just let y’all know. I’m actually working on building a pocket ashtray. I know I’m gonna get a lot of criticism for this.”

Pocket Ashtray. Picture Credit: Ben Shanks Kindlon

“A pocket ashtray is a good idea,” Celestine added.

“Yeaaa. So the reason why I got this idea is because I don’t see people doing it in Asia particularly, except Japan. So my friends bought me a pocket ashtray, and they jokingly said that ‘ni, reference product.’”

“I was like no way, pocket ashtray, really? “

“That was around in March I think. And then I went to Jakarta for a week and I used it so much because it was so convenient. And I felt that there should be more. It should be at convenience stores just like I saw in Japan.“

“So yeah, I’ve just been working on that, working with the bomba (fire department) to make the pocket ashtray because I want to create it with the fireproof material.”

“I want to try to, I mean on the inside I’ll need to outsource it, but on the outside, I try as much not to use any new material, instead use materials that are already there, discarded or repurposed.”

“So you’re one of the first people to know!”

“I just thought of something. The pocket ashtray is just a tool, but at the end of the day, people still need to have that mindset. So you still have to convince people to want to use them, instead of just ‘oh I’m done smoking, buang je.’”Celestine added, after having a brief thought.

“How do you plan to change that?”

“I feel that my approach is to make it more different than the typical pocket ashtray, said Seri.”

“It definitely needs to be practical, so maybe it could have something like a clip on the back for example. It’s something to think about for sure, and it’s a really big step to be honest, to go for it. Just following my gut at the moment to do it hahaha.”

“I also have a lot of friends who smoke, and they know that I don’t like it when they throw cigarettes. I’m the kind of friend that if you throw the cigarette I’ll be like ‘pick it up right now.’ hahaha.”

Celestine concurs. “Motherly vibes indeed.”

Seri bursts into laughter before continuing, “Or even if a friend of a friend who just got to know me and they do the exact same thing, my friends would be like ‘korang ambik balik, Seri is right in front of me’

“I’m like yes, correct.”

“So yeah. Doing that Insha Allah I can turn a profit and then do the passion stuff. Because I have a lot of passion stuff. You know, I always wanted to do cleanups, but again, it’s not so easy when you don’t have the money.”

“Because you’re also carrying a lot of people. Yes, if you’re lucky, the people around the area you’re helping sometimes provide you with food and drink, but most of the time takde.”

“Understand. What about labels?” Nabil asked. “I’m sure you’ve been stamped with something like an eco advocate or something along those lines.”

“Yeah, it definitely took a different turn than what I expected, because when I started off, I got the title of sustainable fashion advocate.”

Seri then reflected further.

“But now I believe that I’m so multi-faceted. What I wanna do is just take away that branding you know?”

“So you would rather people not label you with anything.” Nabil followed up.

“Exactly. I feel like for us as human beings, we shouldn’t be confined to one thing. Do whatever you want to do you know, as long as it ties back to your values.”

“Like my values with sustainability is to always approach things with love, gentleness, and care, make it more fun and playful.”

Introspective Spiritualism

“Faham.” Nabil agrees. “We’ve been talking about your past and now jumping to the present, but I want you to describe briefly during this period of transition from when you started out until now, what were some of your highlights?”

“Oh gosh, how long have I been doing this? Since 2019. When I started off, I didn’t know what to do, but then I found spirituality. Spirituality was one of my biggest takeaways in this whole journey.”

“Spirituality was one of my biggest takeaways in this whole journey.”

“Spiritually as in with astrology or religion?”

“Religion. I pray, and this year my goal was literally going back to my roots. That’s why you don’t see me online so often anymore, but when you do see me, my captions are always something meaningful because I released it myself and I thought about it.”

“I learned a lot about speaking about religion. People sometimes look at it in a bad way, but people don’t see that religion is also about love, about harmony, about unity. We were created to be the guardians of our planet and we tend to forget about that. That’s why I always pray that whatever I do, I inspire people around me to be that guardians that they were made for.”

“From that, I found myself praying more, being in tune with myself, and that’s when I realised that I’m more aware of things. I knew that I wanted to be a speaker, but I struggled to speak. So I took a lot of risks. Like in lockdown especially, I spoke a lot in front of an online audience. Cheating a bit, because I had the desk notes on my side hahahaha.”

“Apart from that, my takeaway from all this is or what I learned so far is definitely taking risks, not being afraid to make mistakes, because that’s what I learned from like my first speaking experience having social anxiety, all kinds of anxiety.”

“Especially after you’ve had to become a social hermit for a while.” added Nabil.

“Yeaaa, it has been quite a while, and from a social media point of view also, like the right people will support you. People will always have their voice, but at the end of the day, it’s okay. Just don’t point fingers, and always have good intentions.”

“My main takeaway is spirituality lah. I could cry just thinking about it hahahaha. I guess that gives you an idea of how attuned to it I am this year as well.”

“We were created to be the guardians of our planet and we tend to forget about that.”

Nabil the continued, “You’ve had sort of like an awakening.”

“Yeah, I did have an awakening, definitely. It’s so weird, you know? Because I didn’t expect to be this kind of person. I take an example from the Qur’an that says, if someone tells you or your parents tell you to pray or to get to know Him or the Higher Power, don’t listen to them because it needs to come from the heart.”

We all murmur in agreement.

“I think that’s what happened to me. Because growing up, I’m always like “Why is my mum telling me to pray? Why is mum always nenenenenne…..” Because now I realised that it’s not just about religion, it’s about everything. It always starts from the heart.” 

“If you want to know enough, if you want to do good, then your intentions will always follow through with you. Do good, always be around people that give you good energy and people who understand and accept you.”

“We took awhile to accept that in, and properly digest that statement, remembering that the energy one radiates will be reciprocated by like-minded individuals.”

“I get it,” said Nabil. “I want to touch a bit on your highlights and lowlights. What are some of your up moments and also your lowest moments?”

“Hmmm. I don’t think I’ve ever gone through my highlights. Converse was definitely one of them, I really appreciated them because again, I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for them.”

Credit: Pictures taken from Seri’s Instagram

Influencing, Advocacy, & Sustainability Combined

“I think when…..Ooh yes, this one I missed out. The power of social media. When I did a one week cleanup for Kampung Tengah, Puchong during the flood. It was such a…..it was just like a calling.”

“I was just telling my friend, I was like “Let’s go here, because no one is talking about this place, but I feel like people are struggling” Every time we pass by this area, we’re like, okay something is up here, because the kampung is next to Klang River.”

“So we went there, we helped for one day, and this person, nama dia Syakirah, she was the one who organised this kampung cleanup. And she was telling me, apparently no one came to help them, because the flood has receded in the area. So the help went to other areas that were still flooded.”

“So she continued, saying that “no one is here to help. Can you help us?”

“I remembered on the spot, I was there. I went to the site where everyone was cleaning, I recorded myself talking, I still have the video with me, yea recording myself and asked if you guys wanna come and help Kampung Tengah.”

“I ended up having so many people reaching out, So for one week I did the cleanup, I think I had a photo where the most I had in one day was 70 people, on a Sunday. It was such a beautiful day. I think that’s one of my biggest highlights. I remember how struggling it was…..cos like my partner, Dan was telling me because there’s sooo many people and I’m so overwhelmed, and we were in the car, he was good. He handled me well, because he was like “Do you want to be a leader or not?? And I’m like I don’t knowwww (trying not to breakdown). Hahahaha.” 

“Cos also on that same Sunday, there were two locations that I was doing, because banyak sangatkan, so I have to separate the group.” 

“But then it turned out so beautiful you know? People were saying that we should do more. I think in total we got about 300 people in that one week. So yeah. I think my highlights are always the on-ground things. Like bila masa when I did my first clean up pun, on social media, we used it between me and my leader, also got 300 people for that one day clean up, which was so nice.”

“What struck me was that for the most part,” Celestin said, “is that these people come without the true intention of really helping to improve their lives but more so like “ooh I saw this trending on social media, something I can do for the weekend you know?” So they don’t actually come back. It’s not sustained effort. What are your thoughts on this, and how do you sustain that effort, so they don’t masuk, clean, then ciao.”

“That’s something I personally struggled also in terms of the clean up, because at the end of the day you just clean it up, and then what? Right?”

“It’s frustrating, but also with cleaning up, you kind of teach people how to manage the uncomfortableness. It might not sustain….I’m just trying to not think about the bad side of what’s gonna happen, but I always pray. I know that this is far from uncomfortable, picking up trash is not for everyone, but I believe that if they can do this, they can definitely do hardier things.” 

“So you take it as a first step kind of way?” added Celestine.

“Yes,” agreed Seri. “I take it as a first step. I did another clean up in Sungai Tua in April with UiTM Rembau, and I remember this girl macam “Seri how do you do this? I cannotttt” so I had to pep talk her like “YOU can do this. If you can do this, you can do any other thing you know?” So coming in with that intention, you just give out that energy and people get inspired by you.”

“Did you encounter any opposition in your advocacy?” said Nabil.

“Yes.” She was quick to jump on this topic.

“I’m a social media girl. Early on, I would say this is one of my low, low times, when I first started out, it was a huge struggle because I was from fashion, going into sustainability. And people were talking a lot of shit in a sense where they would ask, why are you buying this? Or buying that? You said you were advocating for this but you’re doing that.”

“I think over time, I kind of grayed that out, because I think to myself like I’m doing something at least. What do you do? All you do is just talk on social media, like are you actually doing something on ground?”

“Everyone just wants to talk shit.” Nabil adds.

“Exactly, it’s just shit-talking everywhere. Even when it comes to purchasing pun, when I do my talks, I don’t stop people from buying. I will tell them, things are not recyclable. With that information in mind, if you want to buy, buy. But be mindful.”

Celestine then added further, “So you give people the power of choice.”

“I thrive with balance and harmony.”

“Yea yea. I’m pro-choice. I thrive with balance and harmony. I try not to oppose anyone but, I’m the kind of friend, or person who always gives point of views. Then you make a choice. I feel that’s what we should do.”

“I wanna broach the subject of guilty pleasures,” said Nabil. “Because you stand so much for sustainability and environmentalism, is there any sort of product or item that you still use but it goes completely against your values?”

The briefest moment of silence was expunged with a streak of yeses.

“Yea yea yea. Hmmmmmmmmmm. Guilty, but I did buy 2 pairs of pants from Uniqlo. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA.”

“I’m not really going again, because I was a shopaholic right? So I’ve learned from it, and growing up also my mum will always get mad at me because I always buy new clothes. Always buy new. My mum will be so frustrated like “Did you buy a new dress again???””

“Meekly, I’m like uhmmmm yea…. Hahahaha.”

“So now if I were to purchase something, just know that I put a lot of thought into it. Even the Uniqlo pants that I bought in Japan, I sat on it for two days. I’m like it's cheaper here, cheaper there.”

“It’s more mindful. I guess it comes from awareness you know.”

“Sustaining is loving what you already have, appreciating it, caring for it as long as you can.”

“In your opinion, what does sustainability and environmentalism really mean to you?”

“I feel it’s about sustaining whatever you already have, and loving….Actually not sustaining, it’s loving what you already have, appreciating it, caring for it as long as you can,” said Seri. “Like look at my mum. I was wearing my shoes and bag to a wedding yesterday that’s been around longer than me.”

“And when you take care of it, you’ll feel that appreciativeness as you grow up. Maybe you won’t feel it, but when it’s passed down, the story adds. My mum used to tell me stories of “oh, you know I used to bring this to go party” and I’m like “Wowwww.” hahahaha.”

“There's a story behind it, and it’s beautiful to hear that. And now it’s you that’s taking that bag or the item and you bring it and make another story you know? So I feel sustainability and environmentalism is loving what you already have. Like you don’t need to sacrifice a lot to love something.”

Inquiring further, Nabil said, “Deep down, do you feel that what you’re doing is actually impactful?”

A deafening pause was had.

“I…..do not know.  I feel like at the moment, my state of life is so different because I went through a drastic change this year, so I really have to say my thoughts and also still doing the career that I love to do which is loving and advocating.”

“But I believe so that I will…….Yeah. I believe so that I will.”

“I believe that small changes or small efforts could be something bigger.”

“It’s normal for people to feel small, or start small. But I believe that small changes or small efforts could be something bigger. That’s how I always end my talks also with people, students especially.”

“Don’t stress out thinking that I’m not doing enough. If you’re doing something small, for example like picking up cigarette butts, the other people will have felt something. Then the ones who felt it or are affected by it, they’ll spread it to their friends and say like “hey I think you shouldn’t throw that on the ground.” I believe in that domino effect.”

“When you inspire people, when you see people do good, you’d want to do it too. I’m not gonna gloat, but I feel like my audience pun I feel that they know how I am as a person and why I share what I share. So my audience reflects myself, and me myself reflects my audience. They’re very gentle to me. If they want to call me out pun, they’ll do it in a nice way, and I used to not have that when I started out. Because I show who I am and even my flaws. So they’re also like haaa, okay.”

“Do you feel that it’s important to show vulnerability to the audience?” Nabil asks. “Especially when you talk or are leading your on-ground cleanups for example.”

“Yes. I do believe vulnerability breaks a few walls. Because I believe that people always wanna reach out for help but they're scared. So when you show a bit of vulnerability, they're like, oh, okay, you know, like, oh, this person is also like me actually, maybe I just can share something to that individual, this person.”

“I feel that vulnerability is one of those things that I learned in this journey, because I’m not a vulnerable person, with me being alone and being bullied and all, so that meant that I was scared to just let it out.”

“But the same experiences also taught me how important it is to be vulnerable.”

“Based on the projects that you are doing now, and I’m sure that you’ll continue to do so an expand through Seribume platform, what are your outlooks in the coming 2 - 3 years?” asked Nabil.

“I think for me, I already have a goal. It’s just finding the steps. My goal is to understand enough of my roots, my community, my country, so I can go out and share my stories.”

“Because I always like the first thing, my three goals, I remember my brother was like, OK, if you want to drop out of school, he's the first person to know that I want to drop out of school. He was like, if you want to drop out of school, write, three goals, just three goals.”

“And I remember the first thing that I wrote, I want to be a motivational speaker. Yeah, but I know that I cannot be a motivational speaker if I don't know my community, if I don't know my country. Yeah, so I know that I want to do that.”

“I cannot be a motivational speaker if I don't know my community, if I don't know my country.”

“And I know recently because I thought about this product thing, maybe a recycling company. Yeah, because I did a lot of research, I asked around. So there's no place that actually recycles cigarette butts in Malaysia or even Indonesia, because I have people in Indonesia as well.” 

“Indonesia smoking is crazy,” adds Celestine.

“Exactly. So yeah, I know that I am not the kind of person who wants to go out or wants to go to the West. I always know that I want to go around Asia because that is what we need to build.”

“They are already so developed there. So what is the point? Like, I also believe about, I don't know, this is my personal opinion. There is no point in you leaving your country because there's so many problems because outside as well, there's so many problems.”

“Why not think about what you can work on here? You know, if you go out, you come back, you know, something that you can give back to your country.”

“Because the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.” Nabil quips. 

“Yeah, exactly! everywhere is the same. Just because you struggle here doesn't mean there's no struggle outside. One of the things is definitely becoming a motivational speaker. I'd always see myself doing business, but in a profitable way with great intentions.”

“So that’s my future outlook. Now it’s just finding the steps!”

Follow Seri at @ serimizani and her social enterprise.